tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
