i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
God, you're like boner-b-gone
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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