They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My bed smells like the plague
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
