Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
