Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
