I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
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I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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