i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
