Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
