were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
