We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
