Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
