I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
