Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
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is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
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Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Holy shit dude........stairs
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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