ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
