Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
