You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
