i don't like sucking hair
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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