So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
