I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
