I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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