I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
