We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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