Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize