11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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