If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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