alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
