i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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