i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
