operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
