He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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