Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
