Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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