apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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