I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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