can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize