I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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