We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
