you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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