I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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