We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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