based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
