He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
