evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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