we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
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