why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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