it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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