they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
