none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
