Please, let me fuck your mom
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
