he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
