Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
