It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
