At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
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