I just threw up on my dentist
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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