We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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