More tranny stories later!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
