Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
