are you still at the devil's house?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
